Embrace Your Doubts

Doubting yourself is the cause of your insecurities

The voices in our heads that constantly doubt, shame, and question our ability to think positively about ourselves and sometimes others are what I call insecurities. There is nobody in this world that has not experienced insecurity. Many people try to hide their flaws and imperfections because we live in a society that praises perfection. Truth be told until you fully understand your insecurities and allow yourself to dig deep down to find the route of the problem, the voices in your head will never stop. It is important to take the necessary steps to correct this behavior because if not, the vicious cycle will continue. You are in control of your own life, it should matter to you to identify why you are insecure about certain aspects of your life.

One of the most common insecurities many people face is doubt and feelings of inadequacy. In today’s world, much of what we see on the internet is fake. We know that, yet we still idolize those who are richer, more successful, and more well-traveled than us. We as a society have created our own guidelines as to what success is. For some, it is having a family by the age of 27. For others, it is earning their degree and actually utilizing it within their chosen field. For many, it is owning all things designer. It does not matter if the success is materialistic or personal, one way or another we all post our lives on social media. We want to receive praise and recognition for what we have accomplished. Unfortunately, by doing so this raises our ability to question the path we are on. This is not a healthy way to measure our success but many of us unconsciously do so.

Social media is an amazing platform, but it has also become an underlying issue when it comes to doubt. It would be amazing if more people posted their flaws and rough patches in life but that is not the case. We fear exposure because so many people are afraid of failure. The easiest way to overcome this is to stop caring what others think, right? Well, not exactly because then we end up being our biggest critics. We can be pretty harsh to ourselves. We sensor what we say to others but often times we can be extremely explicit when it comes to conversing with ourselves.

So What Now?

First: Take note of how your personal relationship is with yourself. What do you do to wind down when you are upset? Do you criticize yourself and blame yourself often?

Second: After having identified the tone in which you speak to yourself, asses ways in which you can change the self-doubt, and blame. I like to use a tip jar to help keep my thoughts organized.

Tip jar: I like to write short notes to myself and place them in a mason jar. For every insecurity or negative conversation I have, I write a learning objective. The goal is to eventually fill up the jar with both negative and positive experiences. This will help you see that there are solutions to the “failed moments” in your life.

Lastly: Remember that what you post on your social media accounts are also a false representation of your life. You are not the only person hyping up experiences. With that being said, the next time you are scrolling through IG and see someone living their best life remember you also made it look like you were living your best life in your most recent post. Do not get discouraged!

Life is about finding a balance, trusting your instincts, and taking note of how your body reacts to certain people. Do not ignore those bodily triggers, oftentimes it is a sign that something is not right. Much like everything in life it takes patience. If the effort is put in, slowly you will become more confident that the decisions you make are the right ones for you. You know yourself better than anyone, you just have to be ready to be kind and open with yourself during this process.